Coming into my own

I am finding as I grow that time is treating me well. I can laugh at thing now that I would have not understood as a child. Where "only time can tell" is the teacher. I see the irony in things that I couldn't at a younger age. That is where I find the best humor to be. Because I feel that if you can't laugh at the things that are ironic they will soon just drive you crazy.

Enough on that, I am working steadily on the pharmacy technician course that my loving grandmother paid for. And am doing quite well. I was quite dissapointed with my grade of 97% on a quiz that I should have gotten a 100% on. All that I did was miss a question. I guess you can say that I am a little hard on myself. But if I am not then who will be.

I am currently awaiting the best eating holiday of the year in my opinion. Thanksgiving Day! I have been informed that I am now to start learning the ropes for the infamous Thanksgiving Day spread that my mother so caringly affords us every year. I will be the only one left after she is gone to carry on the wonderful tradition in the kitchen. What a heavy burden to bear! She is the "master chef"! I can only hope and pray that I can some day live up to what she is able to do. She creates master pieces!

I am moving on now to find other blogs that may share my free flowing spirited feel to my blog. Time for me to conquor this blogging world that is part of networking at it's best. Until next time!

So kid tell me, Are you feeling lucky? Well, Do yah?

I can suppose that you can guess what type of mood I am in today. I'm feeling lucky about a lot of different things. First I am grateful simply that I am healthy. I honestly haven't felt healthier in years! At least, if all else goes wrong, I can say my body is functioning properly. Other than that things seem better than they have in a long time. I am slowly but surely getting better at time management even though there are days when the hours just seem to get away from me. I have a happily married mother and father ( for 27 beautiful years)! They have taught me everything I know about well, a lot of things but for this point, how to accept and love a partner whole-heartily. I know now that my relationships of the past where only experimentation's for the full show. I have a peace within myself now where I am not in need of another to fulfill me. I do hope some day there will be someone to share my laughs, joys, sorrows, and growth with, but until then I am complete within myself. That is also something that I am feeling pretty lucky about. I am complete within myself. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I certainly would love to change about myself but I am self-aware enough to know that there is only so much a person can do at once. Those things will come with time. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to have everything done all at once so that I can move on to having "the fun stuff", but I am starting to realize now that "the fun stuff" is what is happening as a result of the changes that are occurring. You can't rush time any more than you can slow it down. The more gray hairs that I notice are just mini reminders that I have had a few days of intense learning in this game of life. I just had an epiphany! I relate to calling life a game simply because if you don't learn to play nice your the only one who truely suffers. I guess I can say that if you asked me to say which list would be longer; a list of things that I am grateful for or a list of things that I am in want of, I would have to say my list of things I am grateful for is exponentially longer than the things I want. This by theory should make me one happy person! Boy am I glad I can say that! To those of you out there who are feeling like this concept has passed you by take heart because I can honestly say, I have been there. Not so very long ago actually. The thing that I have to say has helped me the most is being honest with myself, no matter what. I have found that even with the days where I am feeling like secluding myself and pulling the covers over my head that if I am honest with myself and push for just a maintaining level of self, that the day passes and at least I didn't go backwards. There is something to be said for being able to maintain! Even though you don't think your making any progress, you're wrong! You have accomplished a great feat with not moving backwards! And sometimes that is the hardest thing to do! Now, I have to say that moving backwards isn't all so bad in itself where as it just may be that you thought the path you were on was right but you may have been wrong and going back is the only way to find your way to your right path. You see, I am learning right along with you as I write this things are becoming a little clearer for me as well. I hope that you can take a little something with you as well. As always have a wonderful one and take heart! "Once you reach the end of this tunnel, however long, even if the road that lies ahead may seem even worse, think of it this way; at least you can see your feet now!"

I'm confused

See, I went searching for my mother's blog today and I wasn't able to find it. I am wondering if she has her blog set to private or I just don't understand how to work this thing yet. It is very possible that it is the latter versus the former. I guess I could say that I have a certain amount of self doubt when it comes to just about everything in life. I could not give a reasonable answer as to why that would be. I have a loving supportive family and great friends. I know that I am capable of a great many things but for some reason I am always questioning myself and whether or not I have fallen short of some perverbial mark. Don't ask who the person is that sets this said mark for me because if you did I would have to say I'm not sure. My best guess would be that it is myself but I certainly can say that I am unsure of what I expect from myself.

What is it that these blogs are used for if you can't find them? I am wondering if there is a way to search through them. I would ask my mother who; for the first time in my life is more electronically adept than I am, is unfortunately too tired to explain anything to me tonight. So, I will have to wait until tomorrow. I am planning on spending a little time working my way around the site tonight in order to see if I can figure this out all on my own. Oh how exciting would that be? I love to find things in life that are exciting, seeing as I have ADHD which I know is starting to seem like the "cool" thing to have. Well if I may be honest with you, I have to say being a person who is afflicted with it, it is not an enjoyable thing to deal with. I have trouble paying attention ( obviously! :) ) and worse yet I a have a terrible problem with memory retention. Try going to do something and constantly having to remind yourself what it is your going to do just so you don't forget or get distracted along the way. It honestly only takes a matter of a few seconds, and everything can feel as if it has simply fallen out of your brain. It can be quite troubling especially if the thing you are supposed to remember is really important. I have let quite a few people down in my life as a result of dealing with this. I have lost quite a few friends too who haven't been able to understand why I am the way I am. But as my father has always said, " I am who I am!" Well, good night from my own little world! Have a wonderful one!

Where to go from here?!

I am sitting here realizing that I am a fairly self concious person. I am sure that there are other's out there just like me. For me to be doing any blogging at all whatsoever is almost a miricale within itself. I guess I should start with the basic facts. I am currently 25 years old and female. I spend time doing things I suppose most people would find borring, like reading and knitting, and studying. I am currently working on a Pharmacy Technician Certification and am looking forward to an internship at my local pharmacy.

I guess I should tell you that the main focus of this page is going to be whatever happens to come to my mind at the time that I am choosing to write. So, at least I can say that I will keep whatever readers I manage to acquire on their toes! I am supposing honestly, that the only person that is going to give this blog any thought or consideration is going to be my mother. Though that is the way that most things go in life. When ever you do something the only person that really is going to care is your mother, especially if it has to do with just rambling on about this, that, and the other.

I am currently living with my sister, helping her raise my nephew because she is an RN who works the nightshift and has only so much in her being a single parent. Things have been hard lately seeing as he is 13 and a half and almost sure that he knows everything. I am sure that he isn't the only 13 year old boy out there with this mentality. I love the two of them without question, if I didn't I would never be able to handle the hormonal outbursts that occur from time to time as his mind tries to keep up with his ever changing body. He is very easy to get along with most of the time and honestly tries very hard to be a good person. He's just living up to the typical life changing events of puberty. My sister, who by the way is only my half sister however; I will never think of her in that way, is one of the strongest women I know next to my mother. She has taught me that I am able to stop and think of what I am supposed to say rather than just saying whatever I am thinking. I'm sure that took a lot of patience on her part and I will be forever grateful to her for the dedication she has shown me.

I suppose I should make an elaboration on the title for this blog now. I am like I said before very self concious, and "where to go from here?" is the question that is plaguing me with this whole blogging situation. I don't know what to say, what to do, or if it all really matters in the long run anyway. I will gather my thoughts and place them here as often as I get the opportunity, and see where it goes, I guess. Please, if you feel the need to reply to a post, don't be rude or vulgar. I really don't have time for that. I am a person who strives to treat everyone with respect and expect the same from others, although I am made aware time and time again that others don't share this sentiment. However, I digress, I welcome comments and hope that someone out there will derive pleasure from my meager ramblings. I thank you for the time, and hope you have an Awesome day!